I love staying at my godpa's place. :D

PICTURES TODAY! Nicole enjoyed herself at class chalet today, yes she did. She's happy now, mhmm, and she hopes it stays that way.

So yes, started off the day meeting some people at Downtown East to celebrate Eli's birthday. I thought I would be late, but apparently I wasn't mhmm, so I got to eat cake. :D

So we went to Escape Theme Park after that, and we thought that we would have to pay the super expensive adult fee, but then, we just paid $8.80 each. Wonder why.

Kay, first thing: I've never been to Escape before until today, and it was pretty sad that quite a few nice rides were down.

Rawr, I got wet luh, and I didn't bring clothes to change out. D: Wet and Wild is fun, and note to everyone who intends to ride it in the future: the one who sits at the back gets wetter. I didn't know kay, so I sat behind Jiaxin and when it went down the 15 metre drop, it SPLASHED alotalot of water, and I got super wet. Eeeek.

Then we chionged for bumper boats after which, cause we all wet edi and we are very considerate people by saving wet rides for last in order not to wet the dry rides for other people.

Cause there were 8 of us and only 6 boats at once, me, Yulong and Ben went first, and when the others were riding, 3 of us chiong to the side there and use the extra squirters to spray them. Teehee, so fun to act like lil' kids and spray here and spray there.

Spray, spray, spray, spray until all wet, but since some of us got super wet from the ride before, it pretty much made no difference. Oh, but I took some pics while we were wet. :D

Don't tell me to talk to my mom.

She doesn't know me. Though it seems we're close, we are the total opposite.

Not my problem that I'm not the girl she wishes she had.

Will post again tonight when I get back from class chalet. No pics until I get home, after the renovations are complete.

Someone said I'm suicidal.

Why would I be? I just got a colourful and hyper new blogskin!

But then, why wouldn't I be? The emo story located a couple of posts down was modelled on my reflections about my own life (excluding the divorce bit).

I really, really, really, need to find a purpose in my life. Maybe my entire family is cursed to follow the "gee, I'm struck with a depression thingy cause I have no purpose in my sad, sorry existence" line. Half of my cousins have depression, c'mon. What's it with another one joining the ranks of the sorry and emo?

What is wrong with you, Nicole? What have you done to yourself?

I really don't know myself anymore.

But I'm going to smile tomorrow. It's Eli's birthday celebration. And it's class chalet.

But behind that hyper girl with the crazy poking spree is just nothing but a little girl who wants to curl up in a ball and cry her heart out over nothing in particular.

Wait, why cry when I can drown my sorrows in my emo writing and make myself even more emo?

Yes, I should go do that.

No one really cares, right?

Right.

And some of you are just gona spam me with stuff about how my friends are here for me and stuff.

I don't have a best friend. I don't have ANYONE who I really dare to cry to, who I really dare to be myself with. Hence the shield.

Nicole is just not fitting into society, is she? Whenever I try to, it's like I'm really not being myself, but trying to be someone I'm not.

Why do I even bother?

I like my new blogskin.

Lots of colours.

Nicole likey.

And watching yugioh abridged spoofs seems to make me laugh a whole lot and cheer me up a great deal.

-shrugs-

Off to maple.

Yes, I did finish a whole tub of icecream yesterday.

I would do the same again today, if my mom let me buy another tub of icecream.

And oh, changing blogskin soon, perhaps.

Daddie, buy me icecream. D: I don't mind which daddie buys, I just want to keep eating it. A whole tub in one day just makes me happy and keeps me un-emo.

I just finished a whole tub of ben&jerry's chunky monkey.

I just emo-ed in happiness, staring at the comp screen.

But chunkymonkey has chunks of dark chocolate in it. Bleah, bitter.

I think my analogy of milk chocolate and dark chocolate is damn unrealistic now.

I just emo-ed a whole night.

I just couldn't help it.

And I think I'm more emo than usual now.

I can't pen anything.

-screams-

Everyone is just, changing.

I am too, I guess. But I don't want to.

And sometimes I feel that I don't even know myself anymore.

What's wrong with you, Nicole?

I wrote some emo non-maple fic. Posting it here, cause I've got nothing better to do.

--

I stand in a corner of the platform, under the dim lighting of the MRT station. The moon, nature’s own creation, has abandoned the world, hiding behind a mass of clouds, refusing to appear. The light bulb above me is flickering, and it has been like that for the past week. No one has noticed though, since no one ever comes down to this end as often as I do.

The light source overhead extends its weak glow onto a portion of the tracks, mundane perpendiculars of black and brown meeting on a seemingly endless road to nowhere. Countless blurred figures stand on the same platform as I, yet many compartments away, eagerly awaiting the train’s arrival, eagerly waiting for the train that will bring them home, to their comfort zone, safe and sound. The voices float in the air, dismembered, like souls detached from their worldly bodies; a laugh, a giggle, a chuckle, they sting me like how hot water would on bare, exposed skin.

My life is just like that train track in front of me, it goes straight, it turns, in both directions, and it ends, just like that, at the end of the line. The track is not the smoothest surface around: it has bumps, and along the journey, they can hinder, or even stop the fastest, most powerful of trains.

No one’s life is perfect, but mine probably has to be the most imperfect life ever lived.

My life’s track has just met a dead end; the unevenness is just unbearable. Around me, people are happy: the holidays have reached their mid-point. Christmas is coming: almost everywhere is decked in red and green, the festive mood nearing full swing. Families are out, shopping together. They smile, they enjoy themselves, and as I watch, I smile too, my jealousy more than apparent.

I have been here for the past hour. Many trains have passed me, but I have reasonable reluctance to head home.

My home is a big mess, my family, a disaster. They argue everyday, and I hear everything, even though I always hide under the blanket and try to block it out. It’s only a matter of time before the legal formalities take place, during which I will be treated like a possession, a thing, just another object to be fought over, like the car and the house. I know my dad will probably win, seeing that he’s the breadwinner and all. I’ll have to live with her then, and as far as I’m concerned, all stories about cruel step-mothers are true.

School reopens in a month, but my holiday homework still remains untouched, collecting dust in my school bag. It’s hard to focus on your work when it’s so chaotic, and I don’t intend on handing in a piece that has been haphazardly done.

What’s this thing with triple science anyway? Does it mean that since I take only Biology and Chemistry, a double science combination, I’m labeled as less capable than those who opt for all the sciences? Maybe this education system really has a huge flaw in it: making children study their childhood away, studying just so their parents can boast about their achievements, studying at the expense of forsaking their present lives?

Maybe it’s because of this, my unique perception, that I’m ostracized by everyone: my classmates, my peers?

Come to think of it, I don’t have many, no wait; I don’t have a single friend whom I can regard as close. Behind the superficiality of all the different cliques, now that’s where everything happens, where backstabbing and the like are rife. Everything takes place right under their noses, and yet, the teachers hardly do anything, continuing to pick their favourites and turn a blind eye to their misdeeds. Not so, however, to those who get into their bad books.

Underneath the surface, past the goody-two-shoes exteriors lies the complicated world of teenage romance and relationships. They say the teenage years are a time to try new things, to experiment, yet when it comes to boy/girl relationships, parents firmly believe their children are simply not ready to handle their fluctuating emotions and raging hormones themselves.

I thought they were wrong, but I guess it shows just how naïve I am. What was I thinking? That a teenage relationship, nothing but puppy love, would be able to last all the way till we reached adulthood?

It was bound to end sooner or later, but why did it have to be this way? I feel so betrayed, so cheated, knowing I was simply a rebound and nothing more. I really thought it was true love, I really did.

Then I found out you wanted someone else, someone that your friends would approve of, someone that would fit perfectly with society’s norms.

Isn’t everything today just so fixed? They tell us to be creative, to think outside the box, and yet, they lock us inside these boxes and seal them up with tape. Anyone who dares to escape, who dares to stand out and be different, who dares to be him or herself, is considered weird and is alienated, albeit subtly.

If you’re happy I should be happy for you, but forcing myself to smile is tiring, especially when my heart has been damaged; the shattered pieces are still trying to fix themselves back together, trying to recreate the whole shape, but like a broken vase that has been mended, cracks will remain, a painful reminder, a living testimony.

Gosh, I’m laughing, I think to myself as my eyes begin to water. My life is so screwed; there’s no reason for me to live. No one cares, no one has and no one will. So why don’t I just end it, right here, right now? My track of life, bound for a collision course, ended here, on a train track?

The track’s right there; just one jump and it’ll be all over.

Two headlights flash in the distance; the train is arriving. The track beckons, calling out my name almost teasingly. It looks so inviting, so welcoming, so mesmerizing…

“For your own safety, please stand behind the yellow line.”

A computerized voice suddenly cuts through my thoughts, pulling me out of my daze and back into cruel reality. For the first time, I notice that my feet are at the platform edge and I freeze, unable to move. I hear voices from behind me; a huge crowd of people are standing at the normally isolated platform corner.

The train is nearing, and I hold my stance, unmoving, rooted to the ground. The jostling behind me gets more intense, as the other commuters attempt to push their way to the front.

Someone untangles his hand from the crowd and it jerks forward, knocking into my back. I stumble, losing my balance, falling straight onto the tracks. Only this time, it isn’t the comforting abode I saw earlier, but instead, a dark pit, threatening to swallow everything that falls into its clutches.

Shock overwhelms me as I kneel there, stunned. With each passing second, the distance between me and the long, metal snake decreases, yet each second seems like nothing less than infinity.

The last thing I see are two bright, yellow lights approaching, before the darkness consumes me.

--

Is this heaven? But I didn’t believe in god…

I squint, eyes struggling to adapt to the piercing white lights in the room. Everything I see is blurry, but I can make out the shapes of the two other people in the room.

Blinking hard, my vision begins to clear, and I see both of them, one on either side of my bed. They aren’t making eye contact, but they aren’t arguing, and that’s good.

Neither makes a sound, since they don’t know that I’m awake yet. Before I can say anything, however, he gestures to the door, and they both leave me alone in the cold, white room.

The sounds that I’m all too familiar with make their way into the room and disrupt the silence, circling me, taunting me.

I turn away from the door, not even caring to mask the tears that come falling down, rushing from my eyes like fast-flowing rivers, headed towards the unknown.

I would be better off dead.

Tagged by Jun to do this quiz. .______. Whee.


Q: What is your name? (Please give one answer)
1] Nicole Ong. .____. My initials are NO. Heh. Anyone wana buy me a pencilcase that says that? -hinthint-

Q: What is your nickname? (Please give two answers)
1] Nic
2] FNC, short for FishandCrap. I'm the 101% original kay. Fish&Chips copied me. D:

Q: Three books which you often read? (Please give three answers)
1] My fanfiction notebook. If you count that as a book. .___.
2] Outcast. I like that series.
3] Manga of all sorts. :D

Q: The things gained from Blogging? (Please give four answers)
1] Able to advertise my writings. .____.
2] A channel to rant stuff that I can't put into my emo writings.
3] Can sabo people to do quizzes. (:
4] Can type emo stuff out there and people sometimes don't know.

Q: Your favorite food? (Please give five answers)
1] Chocolate. -eye sparkle-
2] Candies. -eye sparkle more-
3] Mushroom Swiss burger from Burger King.
4] Instant cup noodles. .______. MSG ftw.
5] Frozen strawberries. :DD

Q: Favorite songs? (Please give six answers)
1] Better in Time-Leona Lewis
2] Make it Mine-Jason Mraz
3] The Man who can't be Moved-The Script
4] Gives you hell-all american rejects
5] Fall for you-Secondhand Serenade
6] I don't care-fallout boy

Q: Places that you wish to go? (Please give seven answers)
1] East Coast Beach. Convenient and nice. :D
2] Uhh, someone once told me that Vivo's sunset scenery is nice, so I should go and check it out.
3] Playcourt@Vivo. :DDD Daddie, bring me leh!
4] The nearest macdonalds. I have a sudden craving for french fries. ._____.
5] To heaven, after I die.
6] Bintan Lagoon, to play bodyboarding again on the monsoon waves. :D
7] Hmm, somewhere out there... with him perhaps? I'll have to wait longlong for that though.

Q: All-time favorite movies, dramas, or animes? (Please give eight answers)
1] Pokemon! haha. :D
2] DNAngel.
3] Fruits Basket.
4]Ouran High School Host Club.
5] Vampire Knight.
6] Yakitate Japan.
7] Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.
8] Air Gear.

Q: Items that you wish to obtain? (Please give nine answers)
1] A desktop that doesn't lag. D:
2] Dell Inspirion laptop in Sunshine Yellow colour. :D
3] My own Nintendo DS. I don't wana keep sharing with my bro. D:
4] Yellow Ipod Chromatic. Not like I'd use it, but at least its yellow. :D
5] That cute teddybear chair/cushion from Ikea. Aww, its so cute can.
6] Limitless supply of free chocolate. .___.
7] Increase in allowance.
8] Anti-writer's block medicine. :X
9] A new teddy bear.

Q: You want to pass this tag to? (Please give the names of 10 friends)
1] Bakamono Keen Kor. Welcome back. :D
2] Arnold.
3] Ricky papa.
4] KC didi.
5] Andrew.
6] Cereal, if you see this. :P
7] Kookiee, if you see this too. :P
8] And uhh, the last 3 ,whoever wants to do, just do. (:

Off to editing my emo essay. It got cleared by Joel for use at KrazyLove.

I got my new phone today. Yay. And I have unlimited sms now! :D Teehee.

Rawr, then daddie go downgrade into hi-card. D: mehh. Then now want talk to him on phone, he must call mi. Can't call him or will burn money away.

Loss and Belief went up yesterday, but we've been pushed to 7th and 8th most recent already. Gosh, saddening. And Loss has one extra review, as compared to Belief, though we asked readers to read and review BOTH. Apparently the extra guy follows TLC and RotA, as seen in his review.

Heck, I've started writing TLC already anyway, so soon, he'll know that I'm responsible for churning out what he wishes to read.

Man, what's the use of being able to write emo stories if most of the ff.net maple population gets famous by writing Epic action scenes?

I just had a big argument with my bro today. Shan't go into details.

Can't he ever stop throwing tantrums?

And grats for all p6s for collecting psle results. My bro got 261, and shocked a lot of people. Hah, he still didn't beat me. :D

Now his dilemma is which school he wants to go to.

Gosh, I have so much medicine for my flu.

Kay, changed blogsong to Better In Time by Leona Lewis. This song was one of them in the timedrive, and when I listened to it on the trip going up to Port Dickson, it really struck me.

The lyrics:
It's been the longest winter without you
I didnt know where to turn to
See somehow I cant forget you
After all that we've been through

Going, Coming
Thought i heard a knock, who's there? No one
Thinking that i deserved it
now i realize that i really didnt know
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be okay

thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals too
it'll all get better in time
even though i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time

how could i turn on the tv
without something there to remind me
was it all that easy
to just put aside your feelings

if im dreaming
dont wanna let, hurt my feelings
but thats the path i believe in
and i know that, time will heal it
you didnt notice, you mean everything
quickly im learning, to love again
all i know is, imma be okay

thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals too
it'll all get better in time
even though i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time

since theres no more you and me
its time i let you go so i can be free
and live my life how it should be
no matter how hard it is i'll be fine without you
yes i will

thought i couldnt live without you
its gonna hurt when it heals too
it'll all get better in time
even though i really love you
im gonna smile cause i deserve to
it'll all get better in time

Mhmm, so yeah. Perfect mood to write Belief. (:

Heyyy people! I'm back from my trip to Msia! :D I was supposed to come back today yeah, but came back last night instead. It was really last minute, mhmm.

Kay so, Ima say what I did and what happened there, cause I'm lazy to keep repeating my story. Haha, I know, I'm lazy. (:

Mhmm, so we woke up on Friday at 6.30am plusplus, and drove down to the Fort Road carpark at EastCoast there to meet the others. There we learnt that Charmian, Nigel and Charlene wouldn't be coming, cause Nigel injured his eye when a shuttlecock hit it square on the day before. His sisters must be super mad at him for ruining their vacation luh, but at least it's nothing serious, and he also didn't miss much. Also learnt that Savannah left early for Port Dickson, so it was just two motorbikes and two cars going instead of four cars.

Mhmm, so, we started driving and nothing much happened on the journey there. I brought my octopus, anyway, but I didn't sleep on the ride there. Ended up listening to all the music I loaded on the timedrive. Thanks all. You people saved my life from unnecessary boredom. :D

Made quite a few detours along the way, for lunch and for durians. Throughout the journey, it was like two motorbikes and our car escorting Uncle James's car, which had Josei's boat tied to the top. We didn't bring our own boats, cause we can't load two on top of the car. I honestly wouldn't mind not racing, but you know luh, my mom... -.-

So yeah, reached there and rigged up sail and chose boat. My bro is an annoying brat. I marked which boat I intended to take, and the moment he saw me fix my sights firmly on it, he said: "I want that boat."

Rawr, so I had to give in to him, and settle for another boat which ended up giving me a lot of problems. After all four of us NOSS sailors were done with our stuffs, the adults let us go out to sea ourselves and test out the waters. It wasn't much good, seeing that there was no wind anyway, cause there was a storm approaching...

What's worse is that the daggerboard bungee cord in my boat was damn old and super loose, so my daggerboard (which is made of wood and will tend to float more than the normal fibreglass one) kept poping up and making me drift like mad cause the current was effing strong there.

Back on shore, we went to play in the swimming pool before showering and having dinner. Four of us went back to my family's room to play DS and PSP and watch TV, and duno how come Sav fell asleep in our room after Josei left. ._____. I also fell asleep lols, and I think I did before she finally unstuck her eyes from the DS screen.

Woke up the next morning to find her on the single bed next to mine and my bro squeezed with my mom on her bed. Haha. So all of us went for breakfast that morning, and saw the NSC people there too. Hmm, so they came too... But they paid hell more than us, haha. :D

Not much to say about the first day actually, except that it rainned a bit at first, then they made us launch. But there wasn't any wind, so we came back to shore at 3.30. After which, went to ride banana boat, mhmm, and it was fun.

So on the banana boat there was my bro, Josei, Nicodemus, uhhh, one more NSC guy whom I forgot his name, Sav, me, and Samantha. The guy only managed to shake us off twice, and the 2nd time only me and Nicodemus held onto the boat handles as he dragged us away. Halfway through the dragging, Nicodemus told me his pants were coming off. ==" Gosh, I know he's a national sailor and all, but I so didn't need to know that.

When the ride was over, the NSC didn't thank my mom for paying luhh, and my mom was kinda pissed, yeah. Hard to blame her, it was kinda expensive.

Kay, so went to play in swimming pool again, haha. :D And that day, we borrowed this beach ball from some random people and played abit. That night nothing much happened, but all of us slept earlier than the night before, I'm sure.

Next day there was hardly any wind, and I didn't wana sail, but no, my mom made me. The result? Out of a fleet of 70, 80 plus, I came in 35, 40 and DNC (should be DNF/did not finish cause I didn't cross the finish line) respectively for the 3 races. There's a reason why I didn't wana sail optimist for this regatta, and that's because if the wind screws up, I screw up too, cause I can't move my freaking opti no more. What's more is that the current is effing strong cause it's a spring tide, which means I drift a whole lot. Adding on to my misery is my daggerboard, which ensures that I drift all the more with the current cause it's not properly secured.

The last race was shit. I was 4 boats from the finish line when they said the line was closed. I timed alright, I timed when the first opti crossed the line. 20minutes. But at 12 minutes they closed the line. I really don't know kayy. But the extra 5th mark that we have to round before finishing is really, really, really, extra.

When I reached the shore, I effing sobbed like siao cause I knew I sucked. My mom doesn't care that I finish with all the rookies at the back of the fleet. Hello, I can sail for goodness sake. I rather have my last regatta in Singapore with the memories of the fact that I CAN MOVE MY BOAT than sail in Malaysia and remember having screwed my last time at sailing optimist in a competition.

Mhmm, so yeah. Rest of the day I wasn't in that good a mood mhmm, until after dinner. Now that day, the crown prince came to give out prizes to the winners and we had to wear formal stuff. But obvious we weren't expecting it, so yeah, it was informal for all of us. Everyone came in club tee, including NSC, but all the NOSS people were just dressed really casually, save for Savannah cause she actually knew about it beforehand.

Later, we all went to play at the playground, and gosh, the swing is really creepy cause it doesn't stop moving at a certain angle until half an hour after the last person got off. I kept telling that to Savannah when we were playing see-saw, and when she shut her eyes, I go off and made her play see-saw herself.

Then, we kids didn't wana remain at the clubhouse to drink with the adults right, so we walked back to our room again, cutting through the dark, dark beach. Along the way, Josei kept talking about ghosts and pontianaks and scared the hell out of us, so we ended up running and screaming all the way back.

We were stuck in the hotel room cause we were too scared to go back, and my mom had to come fetch us back there. Me and Josei originally wanted to stay, but the moment they closed the door, the DS died on us, and we ran out screaming for them to wait for us. :X It's really scary kayy, I'm not lying. There are all these weird random banging noises and all...

Kay, on to the last day, yeah? I woke up that morning with a bad throat and my mom didn't really care, as expected. There was a storm that day, and they made us sail the marathon race around Submarine Island. It rainned a total of 3 times on my journey, and the wind screwed itself halfway. There was also a mist, and the rain also blocked my line of vision. I couldn't see a thing okay, and had to bail water like mad. Cause I had a really bad start seeing that I started on the wrong side of the line, it didn't help much to be last 13 of the fleet, mhmm, and I had a lot to make up for in such shifty wind conditions.

When I came back to shore I had a bad muscle ache in my right thigh cause I put a lot of pressure on it while trying to keep my weight inside my boat (to enable it to move faster, mhmm) and I was really cold. But, as usual, my mom just brushed it off again, being more interested in my bro finishing two places behind me.

Quickly went to shower, cause we suddenly changed plans and decided to head back that day instead of the next day, which would be today. Packed everything quite quickly, and left at 3pm.

During the ride, I was having a spliting headache, was feeling both hot and cold at the same time, and kept wanting to sleep. Later, when we ate at Jurong while trying to avoid the evening rush hour traffic, I was completely blur as I stepped out of the car, hardly knowing what was going on. The lights were very bright, and I only remember not finishing my fishball soup. I wasn't hungry, and practically got scolded for not wanting to eat anything.

At least persuaded my mom to buy honey and lemon so I could drink later to soothe my throat, before we headed to my cousins' house.

My aunt and uncle went for holiday overseas, leaving them there with their girlfriends. Now that's the fun bit about having cousins that are exactly one zodiac cycle/12 years older than you. One is born in the year of the Dog, like me, the other, the Rat, like my bro.

The older one his girfriend, Joanne, is nice. Haha, she likes my octopus. :D And she remembers me from all the random family dinners. The younger one keeps changing girlfriends, so I really can't remember. -shrugs-

So yeah, only after Joanne pointed out that I looked tired did my mom realise I had a fever and let me go to bed. But it wasn't easy sleeping with my bro playing PS3 there. D:

Now, I have a bad running nose, a bad sunburn, and have difficultly walking up and down stairs, running, and even walking, to some extent. That was proven in Takashimaya today, when my mom dragged us shopping.

For my sunburn, I wanted to get a nice red glow cause I get that a lot when sailing in SG, but apparently, I overdid it this time, and my face is peeling now. D:

As for my horrible throat, I coughed out phlegm just now, and there was some blood in it. Gosh, I'm scared now. .____.

Anyway, so that basically was my trip to malaysia, and I didn't have that good a time there, truth to be told.

Mhmm, so papa Ricky tagged me to do this yeah, so I shall. :D

Rules:
1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. The end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tagging back to the person that tagged you.

10 little facts?

1. I emo when I tell myself not to emo.
2. I can only write emo stuff when I'm emo.
3. I have more guy friends than girl friends. .____.
4. My mom threw my phone out the window once cause I overshot my phone bill.
5. My siaosiao family der mama is a guy. :D
6. I like white chocolate better than milk chocolate anyday.
7. A lot of friends were made through maple. ._____.
8. It's a fresh start for me from today, cause I cleared my mind edi. :D
9. I'm going to collect psle results with my bro on thursday. Haha.
10. A lot of people from PPF radio think I'm a guy before I tell them otherwise.

10 people to tag:

Anyone that wants to do, just do, yeah?

Name thingy:

A : You Like To Drink :)
B : You Like People :)
C : You Are Really Silly :)
D : You Like To Eat :)
E : You Like To Play With Dogs :)
F : You Are Dead Sexy :)
G : You Never Let People Tell You What To Do :)
H : You Have A Good Personality And Good Looks :)
I : Easy To Be With .... :)
J : People Adore You :)
K : You Are Wild And Crazy! :)
L : Everyone Loves You :)
M : Best Kisses Ever :)
N : Best BF/GF Anyone Could Ask For :)
O : Easy To Fall In Love With :)
P : You Are Popular With All Types Of People :)
Q : You Are A Tomboy :)
R : You Are Loyal To Those You Love :)
S : Crazy :)
T : Awesome Kisses :)
U : You Really Like To Chill :)
V : Awesome In Bed :)
W : You Are Very Broad Minded :)
X : You Love Sports :)
Y : Best BF / GF Anyone Could Ask For :)
Z : Always Ready :)

My name:
N: Best BF/GF Anyone Could Ask For :)
I: Easy To Be With .... :)
C: You Are Really Silly :)
O: Easy To Fall In Love With :)
L: Everyone Loves You :)
E: You Like To Play With Dogs :)
O: Easy To Fall In Love With :)
N: Best BF/GF Anyone Could Ask For :)
G: You Never Let People Tell You What To Do :)


Okay, long post, so I shan't add more, mhmm. But it's a fresh start for Nicole from today kayy! (:

Putting on a mask, like she always does.
Nicole will smile, smile it all off. (:
Even though she really doesn't get it.
Today will be the start of everything new, kayyy.
But somehow, she just wants to cling onto the past.
Just friends? Alright. (: I'm okay with it.
You know she want more than that though.
Thank you for all the memories.
She still wants to experience them again, even if they're bad ones.
It was great, wasn't it?
The pain wasn't worth it? She waited, yes she did. She really did.
And she's going to try and leave you behind.
Though she still loves you.
No doubt about that.
She always will.

The holidays can be summed up in one word: BORING.
It's all over today, is it not?
-bangs head on keyboard 'cause I've got nothing to do-
So you've got no excuse not to respond already...
Mhmm, kayy, so I'm going to Malaysia (specifically Port Dickson, if anyone's interested), from tomorrow until the 18th, and after which, will stay at my aunt's house until 20 something cause my house is under renovations.
But then if you don't, I have no choice, do I?
I haven't written Belief yet, oh gosh. -panic-
Whatever it is, if you're happy, that's okay.
Mhmm, anyway, thanks to all the people who responded to my pm about needing songs. (: So, uhh, I've got quite a lot already, and oh, about one-third of is latin ballroom music from Chief...
-skeptical look at what I just typed- .___________.
I still love you kay, always have, always will.
Oh yeah, which soft toy should I bring with me? The others are gona be locked up inside the stuffy cupboard. T.T
iLy. x3

Kay, took this quiz from Andrew's blog cause I'm bored, and suffering from severe writer's block. Gah, stop giving me advice, kay people? Your advice all contradicts one another's and it's frustrating.

Let's see.... 10 people...

1) KC/Xavier didi (idk which name you want me to type, kay.)
2) Ricky Papa
3) Kookiee <3
4) Arnold
5) BenSee
6) JunXian
7) Chenwei (even though I clearly know that he's overseas atm.)
8) gonrod
9) bakamono kor
10) Tessa

kay...

1. Who is 6 having a relationship with? (JunXian)
Uhh, this lil' anti-social P6 kid? -pokes Jun- Nah, he's too anti. :D

2. If 7 and 10 get together, will it be a good thing? (Chenwei) (Tessa)
Uhh, it'll be interesting... RI and RGS, mhmm. But nah, Tessa said she's not planning to get married, let alone have a bf, yeah?

3. What is 2 studying? (Ricky Papa)
Studying how to manage alotalot of relationships at once. :D Andandand, running his siaosiao family. And he's also studying in school and taking O levels next year. Teehee.

4. What kind of band does 8 like? (gonrod)
Hmm, I don't know him that well actually... so I don't know. But he resides in my pond at the sidebar.

5. Does 1 have siblings? (KC didi)
HAH, this I know. He's an only child, but wishes he had siblings. You can take my lil bro, anytime.

6. Will you woo number 3? (Kookiee)
Kookiee? I love kookiee, love eating her, that is. :D Haha, she got bf ler, right, and I'm not les.

7. How about number 7? (Chenwei)
Uhh... .______. I ain't wooing anyone, that's for sure. I don't make the first move, cause I really don't need to. :D

8. Is 4 single? (Arnold)
No lah, the fickle minded creature. First his Acer lappy was his beloved laopo. Then she died. Then he got his Samsung Omnia, and now she's his beloved laopo. Tsk tsk.

9. What is 5's surname? (BenSee)
See. .________. See, I told you it was See.

10. What is 10's hobby? (Tessa)
Writing fanfics or composing music. And don't hate me. T.T

11. Do 5 and 9 get along well? (BenSee) (bakamono kor)
They don't know each other, but Ben just wrote something about bakamono in his writer's dump. .____.

12. Where is 2 studying at? (Ricky papa)
CCHYS. Where he always tries to avoid hair checks by means of hiding in toilets.

13. Say something about 1. (KC didi)
Hmm, what to say... KFC AT PLUTO FTW. :D

14. Where does 9 live? (bakamono kor)
In M'sia.

15. What colour does 4 like? (Arnold)
Hmm... idk leh. .______. never really bothered to ask. Haha.

16. Are 1 and 5 best friends? (KC didi) (BenSee)
They don't even know each other. ._______. But if Ben doesn't change the names of both hermits in MotF, then he's be manipulating KC's moves in the story. :D Haha.

17. What is 6 doing now? (JunXian)
Uh, I know! He's in school! :D P6s still have school even though their PSLE is over. HAH.

Mhmm, so that's it for the quiz, do if you wish to.

Last night went to watch BenSee's concert, mhmm, and I only recognised him cause of his voice. There's this distinctiveness, somehow. Maybe it's also due to the fact that we were talking on the phone until midnight plus the night before. Ah well. -shrugs- Voice recognition is fun.
2 more days, no? Please don't come and crush my heart again; please tell me my wait hasn't been in vain. Gosh, there's so many unknowns.
Ah yes, before I forget, I'm going on holiday from 14th to 18th of November, and then I'll be staying at aunt's house cause my house is under renovations.
But if you're happy with her, there's nothing I can do, but just stay happy, and don't regret nothing.

Argh, Flatland is just so.... confusing. D: Gah, yeah well, it does make me ask alot of questions, so I think that's their purpose of assigning the book...

Andandand, yesterday I went to attend Su-Lynn and Tz Bun's wedding! Haha, grats to the new couple. (: It was a really sweet thing kay, but gosh, the wedding gown looks so troublesome with the longlong train. When I get married in the future, I ain't going to wear a gown with a long train. It's so impractical.

Kay, knowing me, I confirm won't willingly wear a skirt or a dress right, so I wore jeans yesterday. And everyone was like: "Why you never wear dress?" When I said I didn't have a single one (yes, I'm honest, I don't own a single dress. :D), they were all like: "Learn be a lady and go buy one!"

Mhmm, skirts and dresses are simply... impractical. (: You can't play basketball properly in them, especially when you want to do layups. Unless, of course, you're in school skirt with shorts underneath and you can't take off your skirt cause your shirt's too long, yeah.

Haha, nice insight, aint it. Ah well, I'm so looking forward to reading the 2nd book for the bridging curiculum. My mom's collecting it tomorrow for me, and I think I'll be able to write some angty love fic about it or something...

Ah well, better focus on finishing Belief first.

I need to name my last turtle. If anyone wants to volunteer and have your name displayed there (as well as run the risk of being tortured by people that visit the pond), leave a tag or something. (:

Why is it that FishandCrap is constantly being regarded by the PPFR-ers as a guy? -.-

It's tiring, seriously.

And I applied to be a verbal DJ. Sounds fun, especially since my webcam and mic all fixed edi. (: Wish I could go for the outing tomorrow though, then can make iBreak bring us Kiddies to the playground. Haha.

Kiddie Gang + Babysitter ftw. x3

Haha. So fun.

And I wrote Loss. It's long, 14 pages of notebook. Gawd, I haven't written Belief, but I think it'll be about that length too. And chief's action-y bits haven't even been included, and it's already so long.

-screams-

DJ Yama sounds a lot like Nic. ._____________. Honestly, it's creepy.

Nice.



Obama won the presidency with 297 electoral votes I think.



Good to know that some extent of America isn't that racist anymore.



Ah well, didn't know PPF backyarders followed the election that closely.

Teehee, took this quiz from Jun's blog. (: Too bored ler. Besides, I nida take a break from writing.

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Uh, first reaction would be to cry. ._____. And it's not the cry nonstop thing: it's cry for awhile, stop crying for a week, then suddenly next week cry alotalotalot. Second reaction varies lah, but I don't think I wana list out the options in case I scare some people. :X

What will your dream wedding be like?

Dream wedding? Hmm, haven't really thought about it, but it's gona be in my church kay. :D And I'll be happy enough if I marry the one I love, mhmm.

On your wedding day, what would you like to see?

What is there to see? .__________. Oh, I hope to see everyone that I invited show up. :D

Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Somehow, not really. Time will answer everything, yeah?

What's your ideal lover like?

Hmm, he doesn't need to be like a damn hot/rich guy, I go for sweetness. :D
Oh, like dark chocolate and milk chocolate. They're both chocolates, no? Personally, I prefer milk chocolate because it's sweet than dark. Although dark chocolates runs hardly any risk of diabeties in the long run if taken in large amounts due to low/no sugar content, I'll still stick with milk. It's taking a risk, but at least I enjoy myself first. Somehow, I just gave away a huge bit of my character. .______.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Do nothing. I'm pretty spoilt for choice. Haha. Not gloating. :X

Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days??

Actually, no. Which has led to my problem of being unable to write. Instead of being able to pen emo stuff, which was actually kinda what's been bottled inside of me, I'm feeling reasonably happier now, but my mood ain't at the crappy end of my writing bar. It's in the middle, and though it's good for me, it's bad for my writing.

Who are currently the most important people to you?

My friends and my family. (: Oh, and my basketball team, teehee. :D

Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?

Married but poor. At least got someone to share the misery with. But if the marriage ain't going well, then I'd choose rich and single. :X

What's the first thing you do every morning?

Change my sleeping position, open my eyes abit, check time, and go back to sleep. :D That's what I do in the holidays anyway.

Would you give all in a relationship?

Yepp. There's no point in it if you do otherwise, is there?

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would u pick?

I honestly don't know. .__________. I should really give it some thought, seeing as that it could happen. Probably just see who I'm more comfortable with. Nicole has expectations, mhmm.

What type of friends do you like?

Those that don't judge me for my actions and stuffs, cause I really do stuff that don't adhere to social normalities. (: And those that are truly concerned when I'm down and stuff, and really help me when I need it.

What type of friends do you dislike?

The opposite of whatever is up there. Haha.

Are you a virgin?

Duh. ._______. Are you a human being?

Have you ever lied to your parents?
Uhhh... -smiles-

What did you lie about?

Hmm, it had something to do with the computer I think.

Currently are you having any crush on anyone?

Nopee. Nicole is crush-free. Rawr, Crush is STILL at the top of the 987fm hits list. Gogogo, Check yes, Juliet!

Hint about him/her.

._______.
-heads off to the crush-free peoples room-

Do you think the guy/girl knows?

-ignores the question cause it's unapplicable-
-eats a cookie out of boredom-

What phrases do you usually say when something unexpected happens?

"Oh my gosh" or "Whatttttt?" Or someother one that I can't remember, really.

What annoys you the most?

Trying to complete something when my mind won't let me. Yeah, like writing.

What is your current obsession?

Uhh, reading, after the doctor said I couldn't read when my eyes are healing. :D

Who do you short text the most these days?

Hmm... -checks phone-
Let's see now... chenwei. ._______. Daddie, don't jump to conclusions okay, you're the second hor.

Who do you miss alot now?

My teddybear. :X

Which secondary school friend you miss the most right now?

T.T not just one, my basketball team. D: Can't play ball with them anymore. D:

Who do you idolize now?

Though shalt not have an idol before me. :D

Best girl friends?

Hmm, Jiaqi, Rene, (forwards and controls ftw!), Haihua, Yenhan, Sherlyn.

Best boy friends?

TseShuen, Ricky papa (counted hor? You know a lot of my stuff leh .____. ), chenwei, and fraser maybe to a certain extent, seeing that you willingly let me poke you. :D

Biggest fear?

Addiction. Yeah well...

Favourite hang out place?

East Coast Beach! So convenient, and the scenery is nicee kayy. :D

If you were to go out with a group of friends, who will u choose?

Probably my bball team, the ff.net SG writers, or maybe my siaosiao family. Haha. Daddie, I still want go vivoooo! (:

Made any new friends recently?

Yeah, from my new class in VJC. :D

What kind of mood are you in most of the time?

I don't know, my mood varies. But recently, I've become a lot more cheerful.

Do you like the person who tagged you?

My sudoku buddy! Haha. No, he didn't tag me, I just took the quiz myself.

I tag:

1) Ricky papa - for some reason. :D I wana see your responses leh papa.

2) Chenwei - yepp, I really wana see YOUR responses. And treat it like we're playing 5qns, so be honest. -smiles-

3) Bakamono Keen Kor - aiyo kor, update your blog lahhhh.

4) Kian Chong didi - haha, supplement your class chalet the truth or dare. xD

Anyone else who wants to do, go and do too. (:

And whoo, I love my new blogsong. Jun, it's complete lah. D:

There's only one thing, two do, three words, four you,
I want to move on, but I just can't.
I love you.
But honestly, do you love me?

Oh gosh, Nicole's found a new fave song. Haha. :D

1234 by plain white tees is nice kayy. I can't find the song now, but I'll change my blogsong when I do. Unless I somehow find a new fave song first. (:

Here's the link, anyway:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1LwS6-g-7E&feature=related

Rawr, I nida go see the doctor again today. Sianned. Then, I have to finish writing. Even if I can't finish both today, I need to at leat finish one, or when the due date comes closer, I'll freak out and stress myself even more.

Andandand, Ricky papa, yesterday you made me emo lorr. D:

All cos of you right, so horneh, pollute your kids hor. :D

Hmm, maybe I'll change blogskin soon.

I'm tired of waiting, but why can't I just let go?

Kay, today went to watch chengsin's performance at RI. Cheng, relax, you were good. Just a little nervous yeah, but they put you first in line anyway...