I don't know what's wrong anymore.

I haven't been eating dinner since last week. And this week, lunch too. I stared at the bowl of soup I had for lunch yesterday, and if I didn't force myself to, I doubt I would've even bothered start drinking it. And even with that, I couldn't finish it.

And I can't sleep at night either. Every 15 minutes I wake up cause it's either suddenly too cold, suddenly too hot, or I just can't seem to sleep properly.

Last week tooth infection, this week down with a bad case of flu. It might be H1N1, but meh, I don't really care.

Failed maths, physics and chem. Think I might have failed LA, lit and bio too. I actually put in the effort, but no, "You didn't study hard enough" is all she can say.

In this state, I tried studying for the upcoming chem test, but I can't absorb anything. I tried, I really did. I've been trying to absorb it all since Wednesday, but I can't even get past the first page. Nothing's going in, and when I tell her, all she can say is "you're just not putting in the effort".

Maybe I just can't live up to your expectations.

Thankyou Yeoon, for icecream the carebear.

Now, a random penning that I wrote 'cause of my insomnia. The full fic's on ff.net already.

Doesn’t it pain you

to see her like that
embracing the hurt and pain of the world
on her own?

Alas, you can do nothing
but watch on,
helplessly
from outside the gates

as you hold on to her hand
watching it slip out of your grasp
and into another’s
now

Doesn’t it pain you?